When you read this you will probably have one of two reactions, laughter because you’ve been there…or laughter because you’re glad it’s me and not you…well, maybe 3 reactions, laughter because you’ve been there AND you’re glad it’s me and not you, as would be in the case with my mother, well, minus the dog because she would never in her right mind have agreed to owning a dog…should have listened to my mother on that one…
My Day…it was a long one, so just humor me because the best is always saved for last…
· Woke up at dark thirty to get the big kids ready for school. As I opened the loud squeaky door to the boys’ room, my 3 year old jumped up and said, “Mom, I go school with Griff, sounds good?” Mind you, he’s still rubbing his eyes and trying his best to wake up. I realize he’s soaking wet, so I take him to the bathroom for a quick bath. (I am still waking up and not a morning person…)
· Head downstairs to make breakfast… As soon as I open the refrigerator, I realize that I forgot to make lunches the night before. Lovely…again, mornings are not my specialty…
· Making lunches begins another conversation with a very persistent little 3 year old determined to go to school. In my sleep-deprived state, I miss the fat little legs running through my kitchen packing his very own “wunch.” When I finally look up, he’s standing there grinning from ear to ear, proudly holding his little “wunch” with shoes on, saying, “Mommy, I all ready for school. I get on bus with Gracie and Griff, sounds good?” Needless to say, I ended my morning sending 2 kids and Coach off to school, leaving a crying 3 year old little boy behind…
· How do you make that better? Well, monster trucks, of course! I had to do my breathing treatment…another story for another day…so I turned on Monster Truck Jam, snuggled up with my dejected 3 year old, a loud nebulizer, and a cozy blanket. Glamorous, I know. Monster trucks are magic if you ever need them. The tears immediately turned to fist pumps and shouts of “Aw Man! Mom! Wook at that! That’s cool!” Happiness restored…well temporarily anyway…and a jittery- from-medication-sleep-deprived-mom still needs a shower…
· but wait…I hear the baby… I think, ‘He sounds happy; he can play for a few minutes, right?’ Because if I don’t get a shower now, then I can forget it…Grab my 3 year old and we run upstairs for cartoons and a quick shower before happy baby turns to crying baby…
· OK hold your breath here goes my morning….
· Baby crying. Diaper change. Breakfast. Baby vomit. Dishes. Clean the kitchen. Baby vomit. Dancing and singing. Baby laughing. Baby vomit. Baby bath. Baby vomit. Playing. Tickling. Brady laughing. And more…you guessed it…baby vomit. Whew….I’m tired.
· NAP TIME for “Mr. Vomit,” TV time for Mr. “I’m going to school” and Work time for one super tired mom…
· Migraine hits = shot for mom
· Lunch time…late, so 2 very hungry monsters on my hands. Followed by more baby vomit. More dishes and kitchen cleaning. Playing cars, snuggles, and tickles. Baby vomit. Brady trying to protect his cars from the baby vomit. A load of laundry. Nap time for Brady. Shortly followed by another nap for Mr. Vomit.
· Whew…breathe…ok…..
· Kids home from school. Homework. Another breathing treatment for mom. Squeeze in a bit more work-time. And a load of laundry.
· Coach is home early today. YAY! No practice! Lots of smiles!!!! Lots of exited kids and a rather large excited dog. I’m too tired to cheer, but definitely doing a toe-touch in my heart. Dinner. Dishes. Clean the kitchen. I remember lunches today. Yay me! Baby vomit times a million.
· Coach heads out the door to take Grace to cheerleading.
· Dog is looking at me suspiciously…what does he have planned? He disappears and I hear an awful sound. “Griffin, run and see what that dog is doing!” He follows the sound to the bathroom and returns unable to control his laughter. Seven year old boy + dog in the bathroom + hysterical laughter =” PETEY!!!!! Stop drinking from the toilet! That is disgusting!” He walks out of the bathroom, head down, looking guilty. Yeah, you should. You’re about to get kicked outside, if you don’t watch it. But secretly I am laughing inside because the dog is probably looking at me disgusted thinking, ‘You’re the one that pees in my nice clean water! You should live outside!’
· Dog then goes behind the chair and makes an even more terrible noise followed by a horrible smell. I refuse to look, “Griffin…” Griffin jumps up, “Mom, I’ll go check… GROSS!!!!!! MO-OM! Petey threw-up everywhere!!!!!” What? Am I living in the twilight zone? Dog vomit? Really? I AM NOT doing dog vomit! I am done with the vomit thank you very much!
· As I am cleaning the dog vomit, baby vomit…again…everywhere…I sigh…and hear the lifesaving sound of the door chime…Coach is home…yes, reinforcements…
· Baby explosive poop. Coach takes over the carpet cleaning. I head upstairs to handle “Mr. Poop baby” and hear a tiny little voice yell, “Mommy, I all done…” Well, we all know what that means… more poop…
· Get the baby all nice and fresh…put him in his pajamas…only 30 minutes until bedtime, surely you can keep this outfit clean. I pick him up to kiss his irresistible fat cheeks and….
· Let’s just say I ended the night with tears streaming down my face, screaming for Coach to come upstairs with the carpet cleaner and my sweet little bundle of preciousness went to bed early…along with the dog…
· When Coach hit the top of the stairs, he found his adorable baby boy sitting on the floor, his exhausted wife… still with a migraine and having asthma problems…standing there stunned with tears streaming down her face covered in sweet potatoes and milk…saying, “Projectile vomit this.close.to.my.mouth! It almost landed in my mouth! Isn’t this stuff just supposed to happen in movies?”
· Coach just looks at the orange floor, sighs, and starts cleaning up more sweet potatoes… I sigh, clean sweet potatoes off of myself, completely thankful they did not land in my mouth because they certainly would not have stayed in my mouth… kiss the baby, and change his pajamas…again… and we ask the ever common question, “Is is bedtime, yet?”
Brooke
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