It’s 7:00 on a Wednesday night. Coach took the kids to church for me, and I finally, finally, have a little peace and quiet to write. I sit down, Petey curls up next to me, and I got nada. I’m so exhausted from chasing kids around that my mind can’t slow down enough to even think. I just want to curl up under my blanket and watch Christmas movies.
I posted this picture today on Facebook.
Anyone else feeling this way?
Having 4 kids in 4 different schools….plus all of them requiring some sort of doctor’s visit….AHHHH!!!!
Today I was trying to catch up on my email. I sat at my computer feeling good, getting my calendar organized, planning to pick up this and that for each school, ready to volunteer for brownies, and cookies, and you name it. My ego quickly deflated as I read things like, “If you’d like to contribute, please send the money in by Dec 8…or if you’d like to help out, please let me know by Dec 5….”
Um, it’s Dec 10. I’m still playing catch-up from Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was 3 weeks ago! I think. I can’t really remember.
Thanksgiving was the week when my 13 year old had flu and my 6 year old had strep. Then my 10 year old, not wanting to be left out, ended up with a stomach virus. A few days later…the little guy…ear infection.
I took my 4 year old for a follow-up with the allergist yesterday for his asthma.
I entered happily thinking to myself, “This is going to be a super simple appointment. He’s been doing great!”
The receptionist looked at me, “You have a balance due. You owe us $297.00.”
I looked back at her dumbfounded, “huh?”
That’s about all I could say. I called Coach.
The receptionist explained that our insurance did not pay for the last 3 visits. 3 visits? Really? We come here every 3 months. The last 3 visits would have covered at least a 9 month span of time….like the time it takes to create a human being. And you let us know we owe this right before Christmas?
I’m guessing you hear my frustration coming through the keyboard.
Coach sighed and asked if we could pay ½ of it today, and then ½ of it next month. I felt this was a pretty reasonable request, especially since we had not been notified of this balance at all. She promptly informed us that no, it’s expected today in full.
My mouth hit the ground. I responded, “We just now found out about this bill. At Christmas. We can’t just split it in half?” She shook her head, “No.” I was completely at a loss. I sighed and told Coach on the phone. I could hear the steam coming out of his ears. He too sighed. What else can you do?
Talk about stressful.
Today the nurse called me from school. My 10 year old was in the clinic, pale and nauseous with yet another migraine. I have been on the phone leaving messages with the neurologist for the last 2 days trying to get him an appointment. Thankfully Shannon came to the rescue, and gave me his appropriate mg/kg dosage, so I could increase his OTC meds myself. Just a disclaimer, she’s a pharmacist and I’m a nurse…a pretty handy combination. By the end of the day today, Score! He has an appointment tomorrow afternoon. During afternoon carpool. Now to figure out how to be in 2 places at once. Details. Details.
This afternoon, the kids came home. I was excited to see them.
The fighting started….
And the screams of, “Mo-om!!!!! She _______!!!” And, “Aunt Bro-oke!!! He_________!!!!”
And giving me more papers to sign faster than I knew was humanly possible.
And getting frustrated with homework, and needing to be quizzed on every subject imaginable. The crazy array of things that I “study” along with the kids blows my mind. Trying to dig that far back in my brain to remember things is exhausting. Today it was history, genetics, and algebra. Oh, and spelling. Spelling words. Now that’s about my speed. Most days.
And then dinner. The time where you realize just how spoiled your kids actually are. They actually choose not to eat because they’d rather do that, than eat the dinner you lovingly prepared with your two bare hands…. walking backward in the snow, barefoot, of course. I sit at the dinner table, shoulders slumped thinking of children starving all over the world, and mine…well…
So now, I sit. Feeling like I’ve been in battle. And also feeling guilty because well, my life is amazing and I’m so stinkin’ blessed. I mean, I get to stay at home with my kids. I live in a wonderful house filled with love. I have all of my needs met. We don’t have any serious health issues that we are battling.
A combination of conflicting emotions that I often have going on inside. I have the feeling that many moms struggle with the same thing, whether we work outside the home, work from home, or are blessed to be at home full-time. It doesn’t matter. I have experienced them all. There are just some days where we collapse at the end of the day, and sigh…thankful we kept them all alive for one more day.
Now to just breathe.